that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
