We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
