well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
