New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
