i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
