dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
