We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
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