so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
