she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I need water and some morals
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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