totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize