I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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