it hurts more in the daytime
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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