Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
