is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
