ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
