I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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