Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
