If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
