You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
