i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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