you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize