dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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