just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
