I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
