Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
