Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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