ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
