Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
