i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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