The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
