Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize