I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
