Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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