You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
