I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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