MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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