Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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