I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I have post one night stand depression
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