you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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