Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
