make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
