i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
