I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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