when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
