fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
