go do what you do best...puke behind churches
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
