I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
