You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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