I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
