We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
