We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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