Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
