Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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