Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
