Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
