I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
