omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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