Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
its not stalking. its research.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
