Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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