You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize