I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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